Fighting Father

You’ll never know all the tears that I’ve cried
You’ll never know the pain I feel inside
You’ll never hear me say how much my heart aches
You’ll never see the toll each day without you takes
It’s been a lifelong dream
To open the world and give you everything
It’s otherworldly
To hold you close while you look up at me
I’ve never known a love before
Like the love for a daughter I adore
It makes me wanna dance and sing
When you cry you tug at my heartstrings
And every day apart
Hurts a little more in my heart
You are the world to me
Even through the pain and all the struggle
I love to hear you call for “daddy”

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Icarus Not

It was not I who dare to fly
Setting wings to touch the sky
But heaven opened at my call
Down poured out rains o’er all
And I’ve forgotten my umbrella.

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Light of Change

Things will not remain as they seem
Permanence exists only in dreams
No matter how horrific the score
There will be another round
A new voluminous chapter in store
Make the best of the time present now
How quickly stolen someway or somehow
All that’s left to do is progress
Write new history with each moment’s pass
Try not to dwell too long on regret
Shining bright ahead is not an end
But a beginning of a different trend
It’s not a light just of hope without pain
Not just remembrance of all we’ve lost
That light is a light
A rainbow

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Blind Reflection

I’ve never ever known

How I got through what I did

Impossible and improbable

Always mystified and terrified

So uncertainty is nothing new

God will carry me through

Just taking life one step at a time

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Positive Momentum

I’m feeling better with each passing day
The color’s coming back where there had been gray
I can’t help but smile
It’s been quite a while
Since I really felt that I’d be alright
Sorry you didn’t keep me down
Sorry that I’ve come around
From here on out I know that I’m better off
So when you strike me now you’ll just see scoff
I’m a better father than you ever thought
And I’m here in spite of how hard you fought
So now I hope you find
Whatever gives you peace of mind
But it won’t be overcoming me
I bear no hate because I’m finally free

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Current Flow

Tiny currents ‘neath the glossy surface flow

Imperceptible but for faint glimmers

Driving toward a fate unknown

Bearing back what yearns for upstream pools

Endlessly moving without remorse or recoil

Unchanged by weather, light, or landscape

Marching onward, forward, up and downward

Electrifying invention though unaffected by it

Forever will the current flow

Into the future

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Vulnerable Moments

I can feel I’m bleeding out

The pain in my heart goes deep

Owed nothing by the world

But everything may be taken soon

Traumatizing, paralyzing fear of change

Transfixing every atom of my being

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

A battle uphill or unwinnable

If unwinnable, then still I must go on

Standing at the edge of reason

Tears poised to leak down

Truth and fiction seem to blur

While I lay suffering inside my soul

Held together no longer by my own will

But by support of others’ loves

By the grace of God himself

Carrying me to my unknown fate

I’m so afraid

I’m so alone

I’m overwhelmed

I may lose my home

I may lose the sunshine in my life

I’m so afraid

I’m so alone

I need to fight against the uknown

I’m breaking into pieces

I’m shattered on the floor

I need to recover

I need to fight more

I’m so afraid

I’m so alone

In this moment

I’m vulnerable

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