Positive Momentum

I’m feeling better with each passing day
The color’s coming back where there had been gray
I can’t help but smile
It’s been quite a while
Since I really felt that I’d be alright
Sorry you didn’t keep me down
Sorry that I’ve come around
From here on out I know that I’m better off
So when you strike me now you’ll just see scoff
I’m a better father than you ever thought
And I’m here in spite of how hard you fought
So now I hope you find
Whatever gives you peace of mind
But it won’t be overcoming me
I bear no hate because I’m finally free

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Current Flow

Tiny currents ‘neath the glossy surface flow

Imperceptible but for faint glimmers

Driving toward a fate unknown

Bearing back what yearns for upstream pools

Endlessly moving without remorse or recoil

Unchanged by weather, light, or landscape

Marching onward, forward, up and downward

Electrifying invention though unaffected by it

Forever will the current flow

Into the future

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Vulnerable Moments

I can feel I’m bleeding out

The pain in my heart goes deep

Owed nothing by the world

But everything may be taken soon

Traumatizing, paralyzing fear of change

Transfixing every atom of my being

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

A battle uphill or unwinnable

If unwinnable, then still I must go on

Standing at the edge of reason

Tears poised to leak down

Truth and fiction seem to blur

While I lay suffering inside my soul

Held together no longer by my own will

But by support of others’ loves

By the grace of God himself

Carrying me to my unknown fate

I’m so afraid

I’m so alone

I’m overwhelmed

I may lose my home

I may lose the sunshine in my life

I’m so afraid

I’m so alone

I need to fight against the uknown

I’m breaking into pieces

I’m shattered on the floor

I need to recover

I need to fight more

I’m so afraid

I’m so alone

In this moment

I’m vulnerable

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Admission

I am afraid

Things I cannot control

Threaten silently to overwhelm

A tidal wave of anguish

At the very thought

My world seems as if to break

Most precious to be taken away

Fear transfixes as imagination runs

Feelings working against logic and reason

I feel small

Staring into the great unknowable

Standing on the edge of change

What will be

Wanted to reveal

But instead stays hidden

Bafflement takes the place of knowledge

I feel powerless

I feel alone

I feel

I

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Real Struggle is Real

It’s getting harder to smile be light

I’m only trying to remain polite

But inside my heart’s aching

You can’t see but my knees are shaking

My hands holding on to threads

Until my white-tight knuckles have bled

Forcing the progress of the painful day

Willing my mind’s suffering away

Futile as a bucket against a blaze

Slowly turning my vision to haze

How much more could go wrong

Will the good things from now be long

I somehow hold up hope

Even when the universe seems to say nope

Heavy is a grief filled heart

Ever so much more than at the start

The problem with making mountains move

Is their path sometimes carves out a groove

And I keep seeing viral statuses go by

Using struggle in them more like a lie

They don’t know

Real Struggle is Real

And it’s hard

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Eyes on the Sky

So you want to make me small?

Want to mess with my head?

You want me to feel the pressure?

Want to watch me trip and fall?

That’s cute.

Watch me spread my wings and fly.

See the heights an Eagle can reach.

Try to hold me down, I dare you.

Keep your eyes on the sky.

That’s right.

I will touch the edge of heaven,

And bask in the unfiltered sunlight,

Not even to spite you,

You’re not that important.

 

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Sunrise, I rise

No excuses now
Take the pressure off of me
This is where I thrive

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